I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
