What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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