yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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