Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
