Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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