porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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