Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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