There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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