I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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