Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
