if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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