census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
