in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
