I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
She is in my trunk
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
