no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
