plz talk dirty to me
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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