i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
