Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
