its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
