What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
