If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
