i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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