oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
