i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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