actually, I'm a sock model
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
How's work?
Spinning.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
