Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
And then he peed in my hair
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