two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
