My room smells like vodka and shame
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Shame - the story of my life.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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