He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
