just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize