toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
