i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just want to make out with him forever
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize