it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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