He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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