The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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