Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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