I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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