so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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