i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
