i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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