Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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