"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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