Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
