So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
