So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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