It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
