I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
