Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
