It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
