I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just found puke in my bra..
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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